What should I do if my child masturbates

By Shebnem Sadigova

When you saw your child touching his/her private parts, what was your first reaction?

  1. Punished by beating
  2. Shouted and insulted
  3. Locked into the room
  4. In a panic, shared it with other people at home.
  5. I did at least two of the above…

(I would like to remind you that these reactions might cause your child to have sexual problems in the future)

Is there any tolerant parent? There is! However, the numbers are very small. Reactions given above are the most common. There are some parents who prohibit them from their favorite activities or toys. The most striking aspect of the situation is that the reaction changes according to the sex of the masturbator. That is, if the girl seems to be masturbating, her parents begin to believe that she will become indecent, sexually immoral and may become a prostitute in the future. However, if a boy is caught while masturbating he will be praised and felt proud of by their actions.

The level of acceptance indicated for parents’ shock and concerns about the situation must be shown for the masturbation itself. It is a natural process and affects directly children’s psychosexual development. Children typically demonstrate these behaviors in the range of 3-5 years. There is no child that has not “touched” themselves. Generally, masturbation is accidentally discovered; a child finds pleasure when they touch their genitals. And in time they begin to repeat these behaviors. Generally, all new things learned during childhood are reinforced by repeating. One of these things is the exploration of pleasure and knowing your body. Children usually “finish” by rubbing themselves with their own hands or hard objects. Unlike adults, a discharge will not occur. They just feel warmness, sweating, sensitivity, and relaxation at the touch of their genitals.

Parents should be more concerned about how often it is done and if it is done in the presence of strangers instead of worrying about masturbation itself, this is the important part you must focus on. Try to treat your child fairly in a nonsexist way. Let them feel your goodwill. Even if you’re in panic or fear, do not ever show it. Talk to them without embarrassing them, judging or making them feel guilty. 

Children tend to masturbate when they don’t have enough quality pastime activities or when emotional needs are not met. A child who masturbates frequently in a day is lonely and lacks love.

What can I do?

  • It is important to increase the number of activities that the child will engage in as well as encouraging and motivating him/her to involve in activities that will boost their self-confidence. This doesn’t mean to increase their study load; rather, involve them in activities they feel interested and excited about, because masturbation abuse may be the way to relieve school stress which is the very thing they are trying to avoid.
  • Hug them, kiss them, and caress them. Make them feel important. Show them that they are not an instrument: and exactly not a child born to silence the neighbors or relatives; but a desirable, worthy one. And believe in doing so, be sincere.
  • Guide them to choose the right time and place for masturbation. Kindly explain why they should avoid others presence while masturbating.
  • Increase their activeness and encourage them to more interesting activities. Spend more time with them.

What is #masturbation?

Imagining of sexual behavior while stimulating the genitals with hands, alien objects and by rubbing to achieve orgasm. There are many misguided beliefs and myths about masturbation. Some of them are that it hinders physical development of the masturbator, make them go insane, develop terminal diseases, go blind, and turn them into a pervert. Masturbation is a normal, natural and human act. No religion or culture contradicts with it; it is not sinful and is not cursed at all!

What is #sexism?

The approach and ideology define one sex as superior to the other. It has been observed as men being superior to women, heterosexuals to homosexuals and in the form of racism and is still maintaining its relevance, continues to exist as an ethical value and taboo among humans. The results of discussions on why sexism has been so broadly accepted among people are as follows:

  • Cultural and ethical norms, values, taboos, rules, laws, traditions, which are learned from family, society and from various religions, and which are considered morally right, make sexism possible and acceptable.
  • Seeing words such as a child, sexuality and masturbation can make you uncomfortable. For a parent, it may be unexpected, unthinkable when their children are still not of age. However, it would be more comfortable and healthier to accept that it is natural. Because when your children develop a pathology it will be too late. Reading and researching of the matter may make it easier for you to accept it as medically and psychologically normal.

Wish you to take care of your mental health.
Shebnem Sadigova

Yazının originalı üçün linkə daxil olun:
Ay aman! Uşağım masturbasiya edir!

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